i'm not fit.


i'm not fit to say that i'm tired.
damn it i hate school.

even superman needs to rest.
so why can't we?

seriously, so what if nj is improving on grades.
life sucks. you dont even get to live like a normal teenager.


trying to recall caleb's joke today
"we're all dead, cos we have no life at all".


////////////:


on a lighter note, go pw group!
hahaha we'll get THAT "A" MANNNN!

suddenly recalled the movie during gc today..
"i live more than anyone ever lived in a lifetime, in just 5 minutes..just 5 minutes."

some people take a lifetime to achieve certain dreams.
but what's most fulfilling is just that minute of accomplishment.
is it worth it? haha i don't know.

i really hope so(:

i have my ambitions and my hopes too.
lets just say..jiayou ba!
and the first big step.....sleepless nights(:

if anyone would ask.

i've already forgotten how good/bad i sang that night.

well.
it's a good milestone.
and its really time to keep moving forward!

to sing better, to study better, to be a better person.

jiayou!


its never too hard to be appreciative of people around you.
afterall, they walk you through every part and parcel of your life.
i realise "evaluation" is an important attribute in order to gain improvements.
you really must always keep reflecting about the good and bad about yourself from time to time.
oh well.

promos. prepare to die!

p.s. ask me out if you wanna watch batman too! (:
p.s.s. going through another changing phase. mugger mode! haha
p.s.s.s. drop some holidays from the sky!


Life is just so wonderful nowadays.
i really hope this becomes a never-changing constant for me.
(:

刺眼的灯光照耀在身上.

随着音乐伴奏的开始，台下的欢呼声慢慢变得微弱，变得安静了.

这一刻，只有我，和音乐.

感觉自己的掌心湿湿的、手中的麦克风握得越来越紧.

可能是紧张、可能是悲伤、可能是一年来压抑着的情绪.

微微颤抖的歌声，不怎么动听，但还是坚持唱下去.

副歌的瞬间，感觉自己的心跳不断加速，似乎想跳出来。身体也开始颤抖的好厉害，毛发都站起来，脚步也渐渐站不稳了。

到了歌曲的桥段，喉咙也开始抗议，告诉自己“别再唱了！”

破音了。破得真难听、真可笑。台下却没传来笑声。

我不在乎，我什么都不在乎，我只想把歌唱完，把该传达的感受和讯息传达完毕。

把最后那句尾音收完了，看着地上，听到了掌声，大力的吸一口气...

唱完了，结束了，什么都结束了。

失望是难免的。

因为谁都无法比自己更能判断自己是否真的尽力了。

我没有，我真的没有，真得很失望。

可能这就是十七岁应有的生活吧。

什么都忙，哪里都有责任、有完成责任的义务。

现实的世界里，是没有资格讨论“梦想”的。

真得很讨厌长大。真的。

该练习却没有时间，这是什么借口？

后悔，也没有什么太大的作用。

如果能有机会在重来一次，结果是一样的。

哭，也挽回不了什么，那哭什么呢？

重点是在台上的几分钟，是否真的努力过？

其他台下的失望，就让它过去吧，因为错都错了。

对于自己表现的失常，无话可说。

可是今年的比赛又让我学习到了一点---感恩。

我真得很感谢所有给予支持的人，也感谢举办比赛的人。

I wanna thank my choir friends (FB) for coming down. It really shocked me to see so many people! Even micheal who can't really understand chinese came to support me. It really is one of my motivation to carry on on stage despite all the mistakes i've made. (:

I wanna thank the cecilia and the whole qm com who put in endless effort to put up a good show.

I wanna thank the judges for their comments. Though it wasn't as sharp and harsh as previous years, i know where i went wrong and i will really improve on it.

I wanna thank tingting for composing the lyrics for "yinxingren". I'm really sorry for not memorising the lyrics well, hence letting you down. But its really nice lyrics(:

I wanna thank samantha for helping with the recording of the CD. i think you've made me learn to like my voice a little. haha. and thanks for always being encouraging and all. just be nice to your dogs as well(:

I wanna thank the 2 friends of haonan and yongquan who help me with my horrendous hair. I don't have a good face already, but glad you guys tried your best to make my hair nicer(i hope) so at least i'd look presentable on stage. And thanks for all the backstage encouragements! (:

I wanna thank people who sent smses before my competition to say "jiayou", cos without that i'd probably lose my confidence on stage and flop even more.

I wanna thank...pei jeng (isit e correct spelling?) for being my No. 1 fan hahahaha. wow seriously no one really cares how i sing haha. it feels really great seeing you down there while singing because...yep i wouldnt wanna let you down! (:

I wanna thank txy's who 喊破喉咙 down there jiayou-ing for me. got me going yea(:

ok. impt 2.

I wanna thank yuneng.

没有玉能，就没有抢麦，就没有庆祥。

this combined champion, is really what we've deserved.

For your seriousness and passion for music, i really have nothing more to say than to sit there and become one of your listeners offstage.

Nobody's vocals are perfect, but it isn't just vocals that can touch people's hearts.

Last night, right there on stage, i think you did touch people with your singing.

We both know our voices are of different standards, but just look at how serious we take our voice to be, and how serious we work hard to achieve the impossible. I lost, i really lost. And my flaws there on stage became what pulled our differences together, till the combined champions. I felt good when they announced it, because i know its what you've worked so hard for, and you're gonna get it. 3 years. 2 years of organising and this year participating. I have failed as a participant for 3 years, because i couldn't even beat that kind of passion and be daring on stage, despite all odds. Thank you for letting me understand these, i'll learn and become better, and beat you flat next time! hahaha(:

Last but not least.

Thank you for never getting tired of repeating "you have a nice voice!" almost everytime when i get really really frustrated at my own singing. Thank you for accepting all my flaws, its something that even i myself cannot do until i met you. Thank you for making me learn how to look at everyone's hearts, not their looks. Without this, it probably would take me a longer time to understand the meaning of being "Appreciative". Thank you for walking me through all my darkest moments. Thank you so much. (:

Okay yep! i hope i didnt miss out anyone!

haha ahh im feeling hungry and tired.

Shall go lunch soon. bye! (:

jiayou jiayou jiayou cs!

move on.



because one of us has to be strong.
it's never easy to say, nor do.

but i'll be. i'll try.

don't give up! (:


There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

and breathe,
Just breathe.

perhaps.
a good chat with a stranger might stop all these.

i'm lost. and tired.

goodbye.

feeling fortunate. (:

呆呆地看着手中握着的一片空白的纸张.
目不转睛地凝视着.
就看透了这张纸，看见了自己.
看见了自己的心思，自己的想法.
突然觉得脑子就像这张纸.

一片空白.


仍然不让视线从纸上转移.
很希望，有办法在纸张上写点什么.
写点什么，也让脑子里也知道点什么.
越想，心中的期盼越大.
时针仍然在转动，脑子却停了.


迷失方向，毫无前景的瞬间.


有种恐惧感不知不觉地涌上心头.
好刺，好痛，好怕.


于是

什么都变得空白了.