i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.
i need a hug.





i need a hug.
:(

):
)):
)))):
)))))))))))))))))):
))))))))))))))))))))))))):


kay. think positive.

loved sentosa! (:

thanks to people who brought all the food and games stuff.
OH and the rly nice hotel room llammmmma!
hahaha its been long since i went to the beach and swam..
salty water stinks ):
anddd my face is still rly rly rly rly red hai :/

im gonna go sleep.
feeling seriously down down down.
ah..hai.


well. shall sleep early.
try to. haha. night people (:


its that fragile.

Promos are finally over.
(:

other than chemistry, i rly don't put so much hope.
i guess good thing is. it wraps up this whole year of ups and downs.
haha. no more late nights. no more pulling hair. no more nightmares.

it's like a big burden let down for a bit.
before the gear's picked up again as we move up to j2.

it's gonna be the deciding year. haha.
still holding tight to a little dream i have.
not giving up!

whatever it is, i'm proud things are getting better.
it rly makes me feel that...i've walked out of things.
like i did some good to strike out at least some of the bad.
good guy bad guy
good student bad student
good son bad son
good person bad person
haha.


i've a bad memory.
but i guess you can remember stuff when you see a scar.
and you just feel a twitch in your heart. deep inside.
well.


just letting it go.






or forgetting (ignoring) it.

well. that sums up my day at the zoo.
hahaha(:

havent been updating here but aiya!
im doing fine. haha

a big thanks to everyone who came down to banjiang last night!
a bigger thanks to banjiang committee, we made it through(:

accomplished.

though it hurt q abit, i'm happy(:

i wouldn't forget that moment.
squatting there, behind the little gate.
helplessly watching, tearing.


while you two walked away.
i wasn't even 3, then.

something's just not right now.
after 17years. okay.

hai.

i'm sorry.
i'm sorry for everything.

Probably due to the influence of my collection of OLD CDs after qiangmai.
Decided to listen to some old songs.
well, it kinda goes good with studying so...
heard some rly nice songs, though q old alrd.
will just paste the lyrics


1. Manly, but truely.
Alan Kuo's voice makes me cry. haha.
its not a clean and good voice. but its rly from the heart.

《哭笑不得》-柯有伦
电视台裏在点播 唱烂的情歌
我一个人开著车 经过约会福利社
想起你的轮廓 假装你都还在这
路旁一堆垃圾 提醒我的爱都已下课
我对你付出从来不搁浅
以为爱可以收割
你却对著我说 Baby no no no no

哭笑不得
我又能如何 走的理由竟然先假设
哭笑不得
个性不合 你想看我到底有多难过
哭笑不得
非走不可 你想感受难分与难舍
哭笑不得
唱起情歌才能深刻感受到我真的拿你没辄

nice! lyrics by 方文山. song by Alan kuo himself.


2. Talented composer, nice soothing tone.
This is the total opposite of Alan Kuo's dark and manly tone.
Lead Singer has an absolute clean and thin voice, great transition and key!
not really gay. if you call people gay then try singing his key see how good you'll sound! real man can hit those notes well lor. its a talent.
can really tell his passion for singing and music from his songs and lyrics. he wrote most of them! or maybe all of them -.-"

这天-苏打绿

够深刻了吗来躺下吧
让我轻抚你安慰伤害我后的疲累
够尖锐了吗看我的疤
用温柔包覆勇敢给喘息的你笑脸
生命从来不觉得自己对谁该负责任
太多虚伪情节的表面模糊陌生的眼
请让我在你身边一起穿越这条街
请让我在你身边一起纪念
够痛快了吗我知道啊
躲在你利刃之内骄傲的自卑作祟
够鲜艳了吗血染的花
被你刺满的双手此刻擦乾你眼泪
生命从来不觉得自己对谁该负责任
我们看了编造的谎言就如此轻易
将彼此划成碎片
太多虚伪情节的表面模糊陌生的眼
请让我在你身边一起穿越这条街
请让我在你身边一起纪念
这一天总有一天我们都死去
丢掉名字的回忆再没有意义
总有一天我们都忘记
曾为了一个越演越烂的故事伤心
总有一天我们都叹息
笑着缅怀有过的愚蠢的美丽
就让现在过去让我握你的手
让你握我的手彻底了解颤抖
你会知道我让我握你的手让你握我的手
彻底了解颤抖你会知道我让我握你的手
你会知道我让我在你身边一起穿越这条街
请让我在你身边一起纪念
这一天透过我的眼泪看你的脸
自由是我们需要的特权
你笑了我笑了笑了这一天


3. dunno how to describe
hahaha somehow i think i strike some resemblance to this singer. having so many emotions and bringing our emotions up on stage, into the song. in the large crowd of singers you might not notice him, but when all are silent and you hear his songs...its rly emotional. yep. i dont think his voice suits alot of background music. haha

曲名： 目击者 词：易家扬 曲：黄义达

我记得那一天
男孩吻着女孩的脸
下着雨的捷运站前
冷冰冰马路边
看着他为她戴项链
听着你送我的音乐
我爱你的那几年
那十几岁的雨天
这刮着风的今夜
走吧 两个人能爱多远
是你让我目击爱情来了
然后看见分手的闪电
好吧 往我心中射一箭
让我能在很久很久之后
想很久以前

我瞧着地平线
命运答非所问的脸
让我感觉有些晕眩
她走在他左边
这一秒钟 她笑的很甜
我爱你的那几年
那十几岁的雨天
这刮着风的今夜
走吧 两个人能爱多远
穿上你的毛衣穿过世界
看着那封信变成碎片
我问 什么回忆最可怜
是不是在很久很久之后
想很久以前

我爱过 可是找不到永远
看着时间拿走我的纪念
爱上你又恨透这种思念
谁爱过谁 谁又吻过谁的从前
于是我们目送爱的嘴脸
渐渐的走远
慢慢看不见

那一天
向前走 慢慢走
忘了爱也没有用
那一夜 那一切 那一眼那一天 那一月 那一年
爱你的我


haha okay. share finish le. gotta go study :/
sick..v tired hah. okay goodbye.

pls get out of here and work harder in studies.

i'm not fit.


i'm not fit to say that i'm tired.
damn it i hate school.

even superman needs to rest.
so why can't we?

seriously, so what if nj is improving on grades.
life sucks. you dont even get to live like a normal teenager.


trying to recall caleb's joke today
"we're all dead, cos we have no life at all".


////////////:


on a lighter note, go pw group!
hahaha we'll get THAT "A" MANNNN!

suddenly recalled the movie during gc today..
"i live more than anyone ever lived in a lifetime, in just 5 minutes..just 5 minutes."

some people take a lifetime to achieve certain dreams.
but what's most fulfilling is just that minute of accomplishment.
is it worth it? haha i don't know.

i really hope so(:

i have my ambitions and my hopes too.
lets just say..jiayou ba!
and the first big step.....sleepless nights(:

if anyone would ask.

i've already forgotten how good/bad i sang that night.

well.
it's a good milestone.
and its really time to keep moving forward!

to sing better, to study better, to be a better person.

jiayou!


its never too hard to be appreciative of people around you.
afterall, they walk you through every part and parcel of your life.
i realise "evaluation" is an important attribute in order to gain improvements.
you really must always keep reflecting about the good and bad about yourself from time to time.
oh well.

promos. prepare to die!

p.s. ask me out if you wanna watch batman too! (:
p.s.s. going through another changing phase. mugger mode! haha
p.s.s.s. drop some holidays from the sky!


Life is just so wonderful nowadays.
i really hope this becomes a never-changing constant for me.
(:

刺眼的灯光照耀在身上.

随着音乐伴奏的开始，台下的欢呼声慢慢变得微弱，变得安静了.

这一刻，只有我，和音乐.

感觉自己的掌心湿湿的、手中的麦克风握得越来越紧.

可能是紧张、可能是悲伤、可能是一年来压抑着的情绪.

微微颤抖的歌声，不怎么动听，但还是坚持唱下去.

副歌的瞬间，感觉自己的心跳不断加速，似乎想跳出来。身体也开始颤抖的好厉害，毛发都站起来，脚步也渐渐站不稳了。

到了歌曲的桥段，喉咙也开始抗议，告诉自己“别再唱了！”

破音了。破得真难听、真可笑。台下却没传来笑声。

我不在乎，我什么都不在乎，我只想把歌唱完，把该传达的感受和讯息传达完毕。

把最后那句尾音收完了，看着地上，听到了掌声，大力的吸一口气...

唱完了，结束了，什么都结束了。

失望是难免的。

因为谁都无法比自己更能判断自己是否真的尽力了。

我没有，我真的没有，真得很失望。

可能这就是十七岁应有的生活吧。

什么都忙，哪里都有责任、有完成责任的义务。

现实的世界里，是没有资格讨论“梦想”的。

真得很讨厌长大。真的。

该练习却没有时间，这是什么借口？

后悔，也没有什么太大的作用。

如果能有机会在重来一次，结果是一样的。

哭，也挽回不了什么，那哭什么呢？

重点是在台上的几分钟，是否真的努力过？

其他台下的失望，就让它过去吧，因为错都错了。

对于自己表现的失常，无话可说。

可是今年的比赛又让我学习到了一点---感恩。

我真得很感谢所有给予支持的人，也感谢举办比赛的人。

I wanna thank my choir friends (FB) for coming down. It really shocked me to see so many people! Even micheal who can't really understand chinese came to support me. It really is one of my motivation to carry on on stage despite all the mistakes i've made. (:

I wanna thank the cecilia and the whole qm com who put in endless effort to put up a good show.

I wanna thank the judges for their comments. Though it wasn't as sharp and harsh as previous years, i know where i went wrong and i will really improve on it.

I wanna thank tingting for composing the lyrics for "yinxingren". I'm really sorry for not memorising the lyrics well, hence letting you down. But its really nice lyrics(:

I wanna thank samantha for helping with the recording of the CD. i think you've made me learn to like my voice a little. haha. and thanks for always being encouraging and all. just be nice to your dogs as well(:

I wanna thank the 2 friends of haonan and yongquan who help me with my horrendous hair. I don't have a good face already, but glad you guys tried your best to make my hair nicer(i hope) so at least i'd look presentable on stage. And thanks for all the backstage encouragements! (:

I wanna thank people who sent smses before my competition to say "jiayou", cos without that i'd probably lose my confidence on stage and flop even more.

I wanna thank...pei jeng (isit e correct spelling?) for being my No. 1 fan hahahaha. wow seriously no one really cares how i sing haha. it feels really great seeing you down there while singing because...yep i wouldnt wanna let you down! (:

I wanna thank txy's who 喊破喉咙 down there jiayou-ing for me. got me going yea(:

ok. impt 2.

I wanna thank yuneng.

没有玉能，就没有抢麦，就没有庆祥。

this combined champion, is really what we've deserved.

For your seriousness and passion for music, i really have nothing more to say than to sit there and become one of your listeners offstage.

Nobody's vocals are perfect, but it isn't just vocals that can touch people's hearts.

Last night, right there on stage, i think you did touch people with your singing.

We both know our voices are of different standards, but just look at how serious we take our voice to be, and how serious we work hard to achieve the impossible. I lost, i really lost. And my flaws there on stage became what pulled our differences together, till the combined champions. I felt good when they announced it, because i know its what you've worked so hard for, and you're gonna get it. 3 years. 2 years of organising and this year participating. I have failed as a participant for 3 years, because i couldn't even beat that kind of passion and be daring on stage, despite all odds. Thank you for letting me understand these, i'll learn and become better, and beat you flat next time! hahaha(:

Last but not least.

Thank you for never getting tired of repeating "you have a nice voice!" almost everytime when i get really really frustrated at my own singing. Thank you for accepting all my flaws, its something that even i myself cannot do until i met you. Thank you for making me learn how to look at everyone's hearts, not their looks. Without this, it probably would take me a longer time to understand the meaning of being "Appreciative". Thank you for walking me through all my darkest moments. Thank you so much. (:

Okay yep! i hope i didnt miss out anyone!

haha ahh im feeling hungry and tired.

Shall go lunch soon. bye! (:

jiayou jiayou jiayou cs!

move on.



because one of us has to be strong.
it's never easy to say, nor do.

but i'll be. i'll try.

don't give up! (:


There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

and breathe,
Just breathe.

perhaps.
a good chat with a stranger might stop all these.

i'm lost. and tired.

goodbye.

feeling fortunate. (:

呆呆地看着手中握着的一片空白的纸张.
目不转睛地凝视着.
就看透了这张纸，看见了自己.
看见了自己的心思，自己的想法.
突然觉得脑子就像这张纸.

一片空白.


仍然不让视线从纸上转移.
很希望，有办法在纸张上写点什么.
写点什么，也让脑子里也知道点什么.
越想，心中的期盼越大.
时针仍然在转动，脑子却停了.


迷失方向，毫无前景的瞬间.


有种恐惧感不知不觉地涌上心头.
好刺，好痛，好怕.


于是

什么都变得空白了.

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
'Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are






And it's a beautiful mess, yes it is.


[nice song! (:]

bio bio bio!

盼望有一天能找到这么一个人

让我毫不保留地向他倾诉生活的种种
让我不厌其烦地聆听他的心声
无聊时，我们随时都可以出去喝杯咖啡(虽然我不喝咖啡)
伤心无助时，总是有彼此的陪伴
偶尔分享着生活的点点滴滴，一起寻找人生的乐趣
结伴去旅游，享受着不被生活压力束缚着的自由

这不是爱情. 不需多花什么心思营造什么气氛
这也不是普通朋友的社交，不需保留一点隐私，前顾后盼的，深怕多泄漏了一些不为人知的秘密

是真挚的友情，不管是同性好友或是异性好友。
只要能静静坐在你身旁，一句话都不多说就能从你的心跳，感觉到你心里在想什么。

一个人生旅途中求之不得的人物
一个知己. 一个知心的好朋友




你在那里？

飘着.




飞不进你梦中 偷一点感受
飞不回原来我 冰冷的躯壳
就这样漂浮着
悲伤的穿梭
感觉掏空 灵魂不在了
爱情突然失重


在飘着.

please don't take my sunshine away.

figured out the song list!

hope i don't screw the recordings.
but anw its after exams so. gaaaahhh.

bye.

fading into the background.

HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW













i'm just not strong enough.

the night's long.


and cold.
and dark.
and....







sometimes i hear the stars sigh.


bullshit. haha

ulcers = pain!



i'm dreading it whenever i hear my clock ticking..
or just checking my watch.
every single moment, time is lost.
and CT'S ARE COMING AHHHHHHHHHHH!
haha siao. :P


read a few blogs.
hmm.

i'm glad everyone's leading good life! (:

and everything changed.
everyone.
every moment...

forgotten.

i'm glad? i'm glad.

Ouch.


my teeth hurts /:
must be the ice cream i tried to finish in a hurry just now..

anyway I HATE MATH!
hai its not much of a new thing anw look up there at my url..
oh well. one week left.

just. DO DO DO DO DOOOOOOOOO haha.
i'm rly a slacker most of the time.
lets see what i can make out of this week..

been trying to ..... in e toilet.
hahaha. nevermind i shan't tell you (:
[just dont think too much -.-]


whoooooosh i def wanna go kbox after CTs.
anw JIAYOU to the singaporean still in xing guang comp!
though i don't know you, jiayou haha.
wow....so cool to be on that stage..
oh well tts abit too far i guess.
now just. be happy and sing for fun hahaha.
(:


is this blogskin rly v girly?
i really didn't realise.
maybe i just don't really care much about it anyway
i just like things to be simple haha.


我們都沒說那遙遠的曾經
我們也沒提故事的原因
青春的復刻回憶像一片云
沒法子抓在手里


我們的眼淚在復習著過去
我們的微笑是彼此的氧氣
復刻的回憶是封掛信號
多遠都可以找到你

...多遠都可以找到你

i think.
i've learnt so much from one person today.

the kind of...inert fighting spirit.
the "never say die" kind of feeling you look into those eyes.
that optimistic but focused and forward-looking attitude.

makes me really wanna fight for something.
feel so hyped up right now. haha.

even if you may not read this.
i'd like to dedicate this thanks to you.



(:

give me strength and courage.
move on.

And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me....


But I never said I would
I guess I’m gonna miss my chance again.



i wish i could write a song like that.
or even sing it that well. haha.
oh well. bye.

故事發生了便住下了　不管好的壞的
你讓我成長了　就算是痛得值得.


i'm back from yltc! (:
don't think i grew tanner...sian.
at least i don't have a "glove tan" or a "thigh tan" anymore haha.
saw some ppl going home with watch tans and shirt tans and tiger striped tans! hahaha eee.

"it's not about how good you are. it's about how good you wanna be"

wouldn't say yltc stretched my limits.
afterall, i went through far worse things at OBML.
but still the activities were fun i guess. i love our APOLLO THIRTEEN(: [i named our raft after building it. HAHA]
kayaking was a disappointment cos it rained and we were hesitating how far we should go...but i'm happy we still went in despite the downpour(: partnered gim siang(sp?) who hit my head with the paddle THREE TIMES. LOL. and his legs were stretched out so long it was kicking my butt ): hahahaha i really wanted to partner a girl cos it'll be so much easier to squeeeeeze. still....hai. haha it was the first time i'm actually sitting in the front of the kayak. cool. but it was harder to paddle because gim siang kept steering! and i kept paddling forward...so i wasted so much energy paddling for nth -.-" and our "mo4 qi3" totally sucks hahaha oh well. ITS OVER. haha i liked our weirdly shaped "SOS" in the middle of the river haha. it was really tough while we went through all the communication but still we did it. short and sweet(:
the paddling and scooping up of waterbombs thrown in the river by the instructors and the motor boat was absolutely TERRIBLE!!! /:
had to keep paddling and paddling to follow their trail and chase after them to grab waterbombs floating about in the water. haha it felt like catching. only harder to control and taking a much longer time -.-"


apollo apollo apollo!
our design was simple. but it proved itself to be equally strong and durable haha.
it not only brought our grp across the river..it also helped the other grp across!! cos their design was abit screwed so...haha its okay we're all in the same grp anyway! it was pretty funny when we first started with 5 ppl hahaha keith had to hold the raft down if not it'll flip and the ppl on it will fall off. haha decided on 3 ppl in the end and 2 will paddle and the back person do the steering. Myline's grp was the funniest cos she was steering and screaming and the same time it was amusing hahaha! she's THAT funny. lol and noisy. i was with haoqing and keith and walao they decided to capsize when we were almost reaching the shore! ): hahaha but oh well i like the feeling in the water anyway hahaha.

OH! and keith did something to myline which i shall not blog about. HAHA. i think after the incident, keith wanted to make up for it so he was like helping myline through the hike haha tsk. and they chose to "marry" each other. hoho! too much information!! ok i shall stop here (:



Night walk!
paired with chenchel. she's pretty brave i guess i saw alot of girls grabbing the arms of their guy partners haha but chenchel was simply...cool and calm. hahaha it wasn't really v bad la at least we could still see our hands haha. we were supposed to be walking in separate pairs but me and chenchel caught up with the pair in front which was keith and dilshaad. it was really funny listening to them crapping abt each other and i saw keith grabbing dilshaad's arm instead HAHA it was really v funny hahaha.


many other activities done la but i'm tired to elaborate already..............
in conclusion, 4 days were...ups and downs but i'm proud to be a berjayian and proud of my group berjaya! even though other groups or certain people may put us down but we're proud of what we have achieved and we worked united as one!

"it's the greatest gift after all the hardship. Friends. "

came back and bathed and rushed out again for the qm rehearsal.
i sang super shitty! i think i ruined my voice after all the cheering and shouting..
the semi's is two days later. i still have time and i'll try my best. JIAYOU! (:

"the one that touches the heart...is another heart."

i think i've lost my gan3 dong4 for songs quite abit this year because...i also don't know. but i'm determined to find it back!

anyway if you're wondering why i put lyrics on top...it's the part of the lyrics of this song i like most. there are two albums i really want to buy right now. Jason Mraz and Lin You Jia Yoga. maybe i should persuade my mum once she's back from taiwan or something..oh well haha.

k i'm feeling abit tired. shall go slp again. HAHA. bye(:


離開時別忘了　看看眼前的人
流淚記住了　







還是微笑祝福著...